Prime Salt

Hey, Bridgid. What? I thought you were saying something. I thought maybe you were wondering what this thing hanging on my cubicle divider was. I thought maybe you were about to ask what it is.

You weren’t wondering? I gotcha. Well, are you wondering what it is now? Thought so.

It’s a salt lick. Isn’t that insane?

Anyone can have a lick. Feel free to have a quick lick. To be honest, I thought it might make my cubicle more popular. It’d be fun to have more people dropping by to chat, and I thought this salt lick might play an instrumental part in making that happen. It’s like a water-cooler that makes you thirsty. It also replenishes hard-to-find minerals, like salt.

You should have a lick. No pressure. Here, I’ll have one, even though I’ve already had like a dozen licks today. I didn’t put it here just for me.

I think you’d like it. I think it’d be a good switch up from eating all those little chocolates at Andy’s desk.

I thought it would be good to balance things out a little bit. You can get a sugar buzz going over there, and then even out a little bit over here. Also, chocolate has sugar and dairy so it’s pretty fattening. Salt only encourages water weight gain. Water weight is easy to shed. You could probably drop a size or two in like a week if you cut out the salt. But who am I kidding? You only need to drop about maybe a single size. You can spare a lick.

I’m honestly surprised that you’re not having a lick and that you keep turning away like you’re going to walk away when I’m finished talking. I’m not saying that I did this for you, but it’s not like I did it for Teri or Jen, or either of the Steves. I don’t want Hayao having anything to do with the salt lick, but that’s mostly just because he needs payback for not covering his food in the microwave. Have you used the microwave after him? It’s like cleaning out the bottom of a bird cage.

Andy won’t want any. He’s got a real sweet-tooth. I don’t think he gets the whole artisan salt thing.

No, I get what you’re saying, but it depends on how you define artisan I guess.

It’s probably a good idea to hold off. Let the lick get worn in a bit more. Let everyone else wear the seams and edges off. Then you come in for the prime salt. I see how you’re working it. You’re smart.

Okay, okay. You might feel different about that tomorrow. Never say never, right, Bridgid?

Prime Salt

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